The Ties that Bind

It's Wednesday...

I survived...

Two more days to the weekend...

This week has been crazy. Monday, my friend and I decided to opt out on the UNC Dance Marathon. Neither of us are very good around crowds when we are tired. We could make it through all of he standing, but not the 848 other people that would be there with us. I don't know. Part of me would like to make it, and it feels like I'm letting people down by not staying through the 24 hours. The other part of me knows that I would be a social disaster and a complete bitch once I reached my boundary.

But how will I ever know my boundaries if I never push beyond them?

Sometimes I just feel like doing aomething wild and crazy. Something that isn't me at all. A part of me would like to go out and party, but the other part of me knows that I'm not a heavy drinker. I think my problem isn't with my drinking habits though. I think it's the fact that all I've ever heard are the horror stories. The down-side of having parents that are both in the medical field is hearing about what all can really hurt you. I know that I'm not goin to go out and get really trashed one weekend, but does that mean that I should competely avoid that scene all together?

I think sometimes I'm too much of a home-body. I get in a rut and don't ever want to get out. I feel like all I have to do is the minimum to get by. But that way, you miss out on life. I want to push the envelope. I want to break through the boundraries that I've set up. I want to experience all the parts of life, both good and bad. I want feel like I've experienced everything!!

But maybe I should take it one step at a time...

Maybe there are some things I'm not ready for...

Would the people in my life be ok with the decisions I do decide to make? What would my parents say if I went to a frat party? Are my parents perceptions of me the one boundary that is holding me back from some of the things I haven't done?

I don't know...

Musings for the middle of the week...