Remember

I write to remember and I write to forget. Most of all, I write to remind myself to live each moment in the moment. To notice how fallen leaves smell spicy, like clove and cinnamon. They crunch under my feet like thin shells. Shells that once held the meaning of life. Shells that once contained mitochondria and chloroplasts necessary for life. It reminds me to look up at the sky. To see the paling blue as we lean away from the sun, tempting the colds of winter to come and find us. It reminds me to feel the cold blasts of air on my face as temperature changes create breezes and winds. It reminds me, like the scientist, to observe my surroundings. To question everything and then search for the answers. Writing keeps me from becoming shallow and dronish. It defines my being as a chronicler, helps me connect to the world around me through exploration. Determining my next step is merely one key away, one small tap and then another. Letters connect into words, spaces and symbols define sentences. Those sentences string together to form paragraphs, and those paragraphs bring meaning to the symbols that form it. Like the trees in the forest. A forest is nothing without the trees that create it. Each little tree fights for it's 15 minutes in the sun, as does each letter. Will I be picked today? Will I rise to the occasion, become one with my comrades and form a word? Will I bring meaning to this sentence? Am I out of place? Questions are sentences that lead to exploration. Exploration leads to understanding. Understanding leads to more questions, perpetuating the cycle.

Four Seasons

Spring
Green, fresh
Tree swings and blooming flowers
Adventure

Summer
Warm, lazy
Sweet tea on a wrap-around porch
Satisfying

Fall
Crisp, Cool
Falling leaves and hot chocolate
Contentment

Winter
Snow, spice
Hot cider by the fireplace
Complacence

Back on the Radar

I don't think when I started this that I realized what being in med school would mean. It's not that I don't like it. I love the experience. The people are amazing. I have such a great group of friends that are so supportive, and we really are a family. It's such an inexplicable feeling because there's nothing else like it. I can't imagine any other place where I would have such a diverse group of friends, people that I would not have automatically chosen to hang out with are now the people I am closest to. Certainly, the sipping from a fire hydrant analogy is appropriate, especially now. We just started the biochem block. It's all lecture, in fact, three hours worth almost every morning. It's rough, but the material isn't that bad. Some of the lecturers are dry, but you can't expect everyone to be amazingly entertaining.

I just never imagined that I would have something that so consumed me. I mean, med school really is a lifestyle. It's a situation that is hard to explain to others. It's a mindset. It's hard to fall out of the med school mentality sometimes which makes it hard to relate to others. I mean, we can talk about things that sicken others as if it were nothing. This also means it's hard to fall out of med school speak. I'm doing better. Not being stressed out all the time is certainly helping. Being able to exercise is also helping.

I'm trying to get back into writing again. I know that it was helpful as a destressing tool when I was in undergrad. Maybe it will help now. I want to get back into creative writing, but that's taking a little longer. This is a start...slow but steady. One step at a time. I'm just working on not looking too far into the future, just going day-by-day to see what unfolds...