I've decided that I need words to focus on during meditation in order to expand my experience and hopefully gain better insight into myself and ways to personally improve. I've chosen patience, strength and forgiveness. I will hopefully have the chance to expand on these words as I continue through the process I've set for myself, but here are the simple reasons for the chosen words.
Patience: for both myself and others. I find that there are times when I am tired or stressed that I do not give others the time of day that they need. Therefore, I want to focus on patience in order to remain grounded and open to others. I also need to be patient with myself, to allow the time for growth that will be necessary, especially once residency starts and I'm beginning to face the real world and learn the way I will continue to practice throughout my career. I need to be willing to give myself the personal time necessary in order to complete the first goal of more patience with others.
Strength: Intern year and residency are going to be long, stressful and sometimes tiring. I will need the strength to learn as much as I can when I can. I will need the strength to provide the level of care necessary to my patients when I'm sleep-deprived and stressed. I will need the strength to not take my stresses out on those I love and care about most, especially because they have been supporting me my entire life and don't deserve to be treated horribly because I'm stressed, confused or on occasion, floundering. I need the strength to hear when I need to improve, take praise when provided, and teach when the opportunity arises. It will be difficult, but I know I have the tools, training and support team to conquer even the trials that residency will pose.
Forgiveness: Again, for both myself and others. I need to be more forgiving of those around me. We are not perfect creatures. We make mistakes. We are always learning and maturing, but it's a lifelong process. I cannot blame someone for how they are regardless of how I feel. I need to be more tolerant of people's differences, even when it causes me personal distress. I also need to be more forgiving of myself. I am not perfect. I will never be perfect. It isn't necessary. So I need to forgive myself when I do something I feel was unacceptable. I will have bad days; it's a given. Therefore, I need to learn from those and continue on instead of focusing on all the negatives. I need to not get myself bogged down in negative thoughts and feelings. Therefore, forgiveness when they happen. Forgiveness for bad days. Forgiveness for harsh words that should not be said.
At any rate, I will continue to meditate on these words and post as I go through this somewhat new territory for me.
