I have come to the conclusion that my writing process is rather...odd. I should clarify that the writing process I'm referring to is for formal writing (ie. the horrendous task of writing a personal statement). I don't like having to write them. I find it utterly unbearable having to write about myself. So of course, med school makes me write not only a personal statement (in first person) but my dean's letter (in third person). I'm officially tired of writing about myself for the sole purpose of getting someone to take me on as a resident.
But anyway, the actual process is tiring in and of itself. I usually start with a vague idea of what I want to write about. Read: I usually am in a full on panic because I sort of kind of but don't really know what I want to write about. It's a very nebulous start. Then I write something horrible. It doesn't flow, it makes no sense, and generally, has nothing to do with what I actually intended to write about. This is followed by completely giving up for a day or so. Then an outline. Then another failed attempt at writing the actual paper. Followed by another outline that saves maybe a sentence or two from the second attempt. Then another paper. Then rewording about half of the third attempt.
At this point, you can see, I'm a very indecisive writer when it comes to the personal statement. I can spend days to weeks before I come up with something I would be willing to let other people edit. Which is the next step. This step usually involves tearing apart the fourth attempt and creating attempts five, six and seven. In a nutshell, it takes me almost a month to actually write a personal statement that I'm proud of and willing to send out. I've always been this way with formal writing. I guess because there's always the thought that my life is depending on it. Not really sure though, seeing as most people I know don't go through this ridiculousness... I guess I should start getting my personal statement for fellowship together now, just to have some of this mess out of the way, right?
So, the residency application opened yesterday. I started getting some stuff into it. It just feels weird being at this point. If you'd asked me during first year (esp. during biochem), I probably would have told you that I would have never made it to this point. Yet, here I am. I love being a doctor, and I can't wait to start the next phase...even if I still don't know where I want it to be!
