WHY??

I have come to the conclusion that no matter how open I really think I am, I'm still just as shy as ever.

I have a crush on this guy (for my sake and probably his too, I'm not mentioning names. For the sake of this blog, he'll be known as Guy). So I've never talked to guy because I'm too afraid to. I know that he has chemistry before I do because I see him leave the lecture hall every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. I just can't even get up the nerve to say "hi" to him when he walks by because I'm afraid he'll think I'm stupid or something.

I went to the Joan Didion reading at Memorial Hall today. As I was walking back to Parker, he passed me and then walked in front of me until I went into Parker and he headed on to the Law library. I just kept talking to my dad on my cell phone. I couldn't even say anything to him then. I'm destined to spend my time just watching him walk around and pretending that he knows I exist. All I have are dreams of what it would be like to meet him.

Lord, I am pathetic. I don't even know why I'm afraid to say anything. I don't know why I can't even smile at him. I pass him with my iPod on, pretending I don't notice him when I DO! I do notice him. I just think he has the prettiest eyes, a nice body, and he's so serious. And he has a blog, too. I love to read it because it is the side of a guy that you never see. It's like I can see part of who he is by reading it, and there are so many times where I'd like to say something to him. But I can't. I'm too afraid he'll find me out.

But why am I afraid? Where do these irrational fears stem from? Why can't I just walk up to him and by like "Hi. I'm Becca"? There has to be a logical reason for my inability to speak. Me, the girl who seems to have an answer to everything. The girl who will find the answer to everything. The girl who is caught off-guard by her own self. What's up with that? Shouldn't I know myself that well? Is there a reason why I can't find the answer to a simple question like this? Didn't FDR say "the only thing to fear, is fear itself"?

Hmmm...

Monday, Monday...

Today has been kind of relaxing for a Monday. I didn't have English, so I was done with classes at 11. Then, I finished my English paper before lunch. And I got to watch Thelma&Louise. That's a really good movie, by the way.

So, at dinner today, we randomly started talking about Haz-Mat suits, and what they are used for. So, one of the girls was like "I found out that they use them when they are cleaning up spills of really toxic stuff." And the other girl she was talking to was like "So why are they called Haz-Mat? What's that stand for?" And me and my big mouth was like "It stands for hazardous materials." I know pretty impressive. Riiiiiiiight.

I know, I am a science nerd. But I can't really help that.

Chemistry is kind of getting to me. It's all new material, really interesting, but I don't know. I guess it just makes me mad when the professor discusses one topic in class and then puts something competely different in his Webassign homework problems. It's kind of frustrating.

Then there's math. I'm not going to complain about doing infinite sequences for the past two classes, but come on! It's not that difficult. Class is just so boring, and it's so hard to try and stay awake. That really doesn't help especially since this is the most failed class at UNC.

It's a beautiful day...

Coefficient of Friction

Ice skating was so much fun yesterday. And hey, I only fell twice early in the evening. After last night I have a new found respect for figure skaters and speed skaters. Ice skating is not easy, at all.

One of the interesting links that my chemistry professor gave us was an article about ice. It was interesting in the fact that we are in the year 2006, and we still don't understand why ice is so slippery. It is a solid, and most other solids are next to impossible to skate on. You try to skate down the hallway in your hall and tell me how it goes.

It's intersting because it has a high coefficient of friction yet pressure does not effect it. Let me explain...

The coefficient of friction for a substance describes the amount of force that object exerts as you try to slide something across it. The force of friction acts in a direction opposite to the direction in which the moving object is going. This causes the moving object to accelerate backwards (most people would refer to this as deceleration but that is false. Deceleration is simply an object slowing because of an unequal force acting on it in a direction opposite that of its path of movement) and eventually stop unless another force pushes against the force of friction. In most cases, high coefficients of friction mean that it is harder to slide on object across a surface. And even more interesting, the force of friction is proportional to the normal force. The normal force on Earth is simply the mass of the object multiplied by the force of the earth on the object ( this constant is equal to the acceleration due to gravity, or, roughly, 9.8 N/m).

Now, knowing this, we can assume that the more mass an object is, the harder it will be to slide it across an object with a high coefficient of friction. It's like trying to drag a large refrigerator across the room versus dragging a box of books. However, on ice, you are just as likely to slide on the blade of an ice skate as you are in your car. So why is this?

Some scientist refer to the layer of water just on top of the surface of the ice, but this has been refuted because the water layer is too thin to counteract the force of friction. Earlier than that, scientists believed that the force of the blade on the ice caused enough friction to melt the ice a little leting the blade slide across the surface. This has also been discarded as a false hypothesis because the blade cannot create enough pressure to melt the ice enough to cause the blade to slide so easily.

So why can you slide on ice? Perhaps the bonds between the molecules of water in ice are not completely rigid. Both the negative and positive parts of the water molecule come in contact with the blade. As the blade touches the ice it is both attracted to the positive hydrogen as it is repulsed by the negative oxygen. This constant flux would allow the blade to glide forward without being stopped by the force of friction. A wrong hypothesis I'm sure, and it doesn't explain why cars are just as likely to spin out on ice, but it sounds like a fun idea.

The Middle

I did it! I survived another Wednesday. Another day of chemistry lab is over. Now the hard part begins. The Lab Report and Learning device for next week. I have found that I'm the opposite of everyone else who takes chem lab. I always bomb the learning devices and do decently on the labs. I guess that's because I spend more time on the lab reports than I do on the learning devices.

Anyway, I've made it through the first set of grades for this semester. I'm okay with them, but I'm not pleases. I mean, i have nothing to complain about compared to some people I'm sure, but I just know that I can do better than I am doing right now. I have to do better. To get into medical scool I need at least a 3.7 gpa each year. I'm not going to lose that because I let a calc II and chemistry class bring me down!

Other than that I'm surviving. I'm looking forward to going ice skating on Friday! I've been in a winter sport mood all week. I wonder if the Olympics have anything to do with that??...

I'm off, it's past my bedtime, and my fingers are no longer working like they are supposed to.

Feed My Addiction

Today, the internet went down here in Chapel Hill. When I say down, I mean there was no connection anywhere on campus. And I realized how much I'm dependent on my internet connection. Like, really dependent. As in, "send me to rehab, I think it's an addiction."

So here is a list of what I need my internet connection for:

1. AIM. I can't keep intouch with all my friends for free any other way.

2. Email. If I don't have that, I miss out on things oncampus. I can't get chem lab DataStudio files to the people I need to get them to. It's a royal mess when the email is down

3. AOL. I have to check that email too. That's where all the housing emails go.

4. News. How else am I going to keep up to date on what's going on at the Olympics? Watch it? No, I turn it on as background noise while I'm doing homework. Besides, the halfpipe is over, and Shaun White's back in the US.

5. Blogging. No internet, no blog. Enough said.

6. Facebook. I can't look at other people's crazy pictures without facebook!

7. Webassign. Actually, I don't think I care about this one that much. I can do without Webassign. It's annoying.

So there is the beginning of the list of reasons for why I'm addicted to the internet.

A Rose has Many Thorns...

Rose had never really liked Alex. Or at least she never let on that she did. Every day she would walk into class and sit down next to Alex without even looking at him. She outwardly rejected him, and he knew it yet he always tried to be nice to her.

Alex always thought of Rose as the most beautiful girl in their class. She had long, straight, corn-silk hair. She always wore it half-back so that it wouldn't get in her eyes as she read in class. And her eyes. He loved her eyes. They were the most intriguing shade of green, like the color of the jungle green crayon in the 24 count Crayola crayon box. He loved watching her read as her eyes slowly moved from one side of the page to the next. He would follow her eyes as she read so that he hardly ever read his own book. He knew that it drove her crazy, but he couldn't help it.

Why is he always watching me? Rose thought. She could feel his eyes on her, but she would never look up. She could never look up because she knew that if she did she would fall in love with him. That couldn't happen. Not ever. She couldn't be caught dead with him. He couldn't afford the types of presents her boyfriend had better buy her. Besides, dating down in the socio-economic heirarchy was tacky in her mind.

She couldn't stand the fact that he was so prefect. He was so kind to everyone. He was so handsome. From his messy, almost black hair to his unwavering blue eyes. He was amazing. And so athletic. Of all the guys in the class, he was the most built. Not like those who tried to build their muscles, but like those who were just naturally fit. He was tall and lean and you could see every muscle perfectly defined through his skin as if it had been etched in marble.

I want her to look at me. I want her to see me. Alex always prayed for what he knew would never happen. He was poor. he knew he was poor. Everyone in school loved to put him in his place. He knew that Rose was rich, and that no one there would let him get close to her. He just wanted to say "hello" to her and look into her gorgeous eyes.

He wasn't there to fight the losing social battle, though. He was there for his brilliance. He could do anything. He would one day be named the greatest, and then he would have a woman by his side who loved him for all that he was. And he knew for a fact that that woman would not be Rose. He just liked to watch her eyes during class.

I know, not one of my better works. I apologize.

Mi Fin de Semana

It has been a good weekend. I had nothing planned. I lived through the weekend one minute, one second, at a time. I loved it.

This weekend, there was no stressing about having to get things done in a scheduled order or time. There were no events that I had to go to. I got all the work done that I wanted to. I got to do some fun things. I even got to get a normal amount of sleep.

Sometimes you need weekends like this. Sometimes you need no expectations. Sometimes you need to feel like there isn't any pressure on you.

I'm not saying that I don't like having things planned for the weekends. I do like having plans. I like to try new things on the weekend. It's just that sometimes, I like to not have to plan for anything.

A Summary of What I Learned this Week

I'm keeping it short tonight because I don't have much to say.

What I do have to say is this:

1. Watching cute romantic comedies with your best friend is the greatest form of stress relief and a whole lot of fun.

2. The only person you have to answer to is yourself.

3. Sharing information and stories with people is good. Sharing too much is bad and could quite possibly get you into trouble.

4. Don't let others make decisions for you. Don't try to make all your decisions based on what others think you should do.

5. BE YOURSELF 100%. You are the only one who has to live with the decisions you made for the rest of your life.

Good Night everyone!

Life has Taken a Turn for the Darker Side

Sometimes I feel like I'm carrying the entire world on my shoulders and that I've dropped it. I feel like I'm always letting people down. That I'm unreliable. That I've upset someone without meaning or wanting to. It's so hard...

But who do I let down more: everyone else or me?

I know that that sounds self-centered, but I get so caught up in pleasing everyone else that I forget about the person I have to live with until the day that I die. I don't want to upset my friends. I don't want to upset my family. I want to be what people expect of me.

I'm supposed to be self assured. I'm supposed to know exactly what I want out of life. I'm supposed to be dependable. I'm supposed to be a good student. A good big sister. A good friend. A strong shoulder to lean on. But am I any of these? Can I be all of these at once and still be able to go to sleep with myself at the end of the day?

I just feel like I'm not being the best that I can be. I'm second guessing what I want to be in life. I'm letting down my friends and family. I'm unsure of who I am and who I should be, want to be. I can't remember which way is up or how to take a few good steps forward without stumbling and falling. I just don't know any more.

All I feel like doing is curling up under the covers and pretending the world doesn't exist. I want to be back in pre-school when all that mattered was that you got to color with your favorite crayon and when snack time was. I want the answers to be easy.

Why aren't the questions ever easy to answer any more?

The Ties that Bind

It's Wednesday...

I survived...

Two more days to the weekend...

This week has been crazy. Monday, my friend and I decided to opt out on the UNC Dance Marathon. Neither of us are very good around crowds when we are tired. We could make it through all of he standing, but not the 848 other people that would be there with us. I don't know. Part of me would like to make it, and it feels like I'm letting people down by not staying through the 24 hours. The other part of me knows that I would be a social disaster and a complete bitch once I reached my boundary.

But how will I ever know my boundaries if I never push beyond them?

Sometimes I just feel like doing aomething wild and crazy. Something that isn't me at all. A part of me would like to go out and party, but the other part of me knows that I'm not a heavy drinker. I think my problem isn't with my drinking habits though. I think it's the fact that all I've ever heard are the horror stories. The down-side of having parents that are both in the medical field is hearing about what all can really hurt you. I know that I'm not goin to go out and get really trashed one weekend, but does that mean that I should competely avoid that scene all together?

I think sometimes I'm too much of a home-body. I get in a rut and don't ever want to get out. I feel like all I have to do is the minimum to get by. But that way, you miss out on life. I want to push the envelope. I want to break through the boundraries that I've set up. I want to experience all the parts of life, both good and bad. I want feel like I've experienced everything!!

But maybe I should take it one step at a time...

Maybe there are some things I'm not ready for...

Would the people in my life be ok with the decisions I do decide to make? What would my parents say if I went to a frat party? Are my parents perceptions of me the one boundary that is holding me back from some of the things I haven't done?

I don't know...

Musings for the middle of the week...

The Gift

Life's simple pleasures:
Do not come in a box
Or wrapped in paper and bows.
They do not come with locks
Or jangling, dancing keys.
They are not painted
With store-bought colors.

Life's simple pleasures:
Are given with love,
A word or two
Between me and you.

Life's Simple Pleasures:
Are a small kiss,
A drop of rain,
The bright blue sky,
Never having to say good-bye.


Happy Valentine's Day Everyone!

Request of One Single Female

I've come to the conclusion that I don't hate Valentine's Day. It just makes me sad. As one of my good friends calls it, it's Singles Awareness Day. As in, as someone who is single, you know that you are single, and, conversely, you know plenty well who is not single.

I have a simple request. For those of us wo are single, and have been our entire lives, a nice hug and a thank you for being such a good friend would be nice. I would ask for a reminder that "my day will come", but that just rubs in the fact of singleness even more.

So here I am, another Valentine's day without a man, but that doesn't make me a lesser person...

For those of you who are single: Happy Singles Awareness Day! Embrace your independence, and know that there are people out there who love you for who you are. For those who are in a relationship: Happy Valentine's Day! Enjoy the company you are in, and remember that the best gifts in life are free and wrapped in love and dreams, not ribbons and foil.

Dream of the Future

Today's post will be about dreams...

Dreams...What to say about them? Scientifically, dreams are caused by the brain re-wiring itself each night. People get wealthy interpreting others' dreams. But what are dreams? The fluff-and-stuff of the brain shuffling through and re-filing newly added information? The heart's deepest desires, set into motion by a tired mind, the one connection between thoughts and emotions? Dreams. Holding a dream only happens in movies thanks to computer graphics. What would happen if reality collided with the dream world? Would every wish become truth? Dreams. One song calls dreams 'inconsistent angel things'. Does this make us closer to the heavenly beings when we dream? Are dreams merely reflections of heaven distorted by mirrors and lenses of the heart and eyes? Dreams. The cobwebs of the mind? Maybe. Dreams. No scientist can study them. Dreams. What are they? Dreams. period. Just dreams. Ever-changing, yet that word is the only one to describe them. Dreams..

According to Carl Sagan in The Dragons of Eden (I highly recommend this book to anyone interested in the evolution of the human mind) "One view, published in a reputable scientific paper, holds that the function of dreams is to wake us up a little, every now and then, to see if anyone is about to eat us". Fortunately, now a days, we don't really have to worry about being eaten unless camping in grizzly bear breeding grounds is high on your list of "things to do before you die". In which case, I recommend saving that adventure for the time when you really do want to die. But I digress...

However, Sagan quickly disproves the above theory replacing it with yet another. "Much more plausible is the computer-based explanation that dreams are a spillover from the unconcious processing of the day's experience, from the brain's decision on how much of the daily events temporarily stored in a kind of buffer to emplace in long-term memory". Yet, one of his more interesting findings is that as the night approaches its end we have more vivid, emotional dreams. These dreams bring on our childhood and early life. But we know that those need not be filed away in long-term memory because they already are.

So what causes these dreams?

At the end of Sagan's discussion of dreams, he has a very interesting revelation, a sort of...food for thought.
"We are descended from reptiles and mammals both. In the daytime repression of the R-complex (the midbrain, containing the olfactostriatum, the corpus striatum, and the globus pallidus) and in the nighttime stirring of the dream dragons, we may each of us be replaying the hundred-million-year-old warfare between the reptiles and the mammals...
Perhaps the dream state permits, in our fantasy and its reality, the R-complex to function regularly, as if it were still in control."

A long winded post to come to no conclusions. I apologize...

College Students Need Support, Too!

One of the most wonderful things just happened! I realized just how supportive my parents are. I always knew that they would support me in anything that I do, but I was just never sure how far that support could stretch...

I have dreamt of being a doctor since I was in 8th grade. I guess I have my mom to thank for that. But even before that, I was the girl who would pretend she was a teacher. As a 4th and 5th grader, I would sit in the playroom and teach a classroom of imaginary students. I don't know why I gave up that dream for being a doctor.

I've been having second thoughts for a little while. Nothing too bad. I still want to become a doctor. But there was always that school teacher underneath, trying to poke through and get her way, too. And today, she was given a voice, too.

I was talking to my dad about the Health Science theme housing that I'll hopefully be in next semester. One of the things we have to do is volunteer during our spring semester. I told my dad that I was hoping I would be able to teach/tutor during that time. He said that one of the things I could consider was becoming a teacher because the pre-med.medical background would give me a good base for that. I could become a high school science teacher!

Now, I'm split in half. I'll stay on the pre-med course. I want to be a pediatrician. I want to teach them to not fear coming to a doctor's office. But I also want to be a teacher. That little 5th grader inside of me still lives and thrives, and she won't be silienced any longer. Can I begin as a doctor and become a teacher? Should I get my master's in education in case my medical career falls through? Will I meet someone who supports my decisions like my parents do? Can I be both a teacher and a doctor at the same time?

Yet another issue to keep me thinking through the night...

Take Me Away...

"There was a boy...
A very strange
And gentle boy..."

The song gently lilts on, coming from the window above my head as I walk on the street below. It's a cool fall day with a gentle breeze that blows the withered leaves from the branches of the trees. "They aren't dead, only dormant for the winter." Those simple words from my father join with the eerie cadence of the song above which slowly fades as a walk on. The on comers pass me like I'm not there. That's ok, I prefer to go unnoticed, gently slipping by under the radar.

I can't seem to come to any conclusions about what's happened. It seems more like a dream, a nightmare. The sense of fear and impending doom linger, but the real, hard facts fade and melt like the colors of a bloody sunset. Images flash by, but no one is distinguishable from any of the others. I stop.

The car is coming so fast, playing chicken trying to pass a semi. My foot isn't on the accelerator, but the car is moving. We keep speeding up. Faster...Faster...FASTER!...

I'm not in the car any more. It's so bright, and all I hear are the soft mumblings from a forgotten language. Blurs of dark pass across my field of vision. Where am I? I don't understand! Where am I? What happened? Would SOMEONE tell ME what the hell is going on?

"There was a boy...
A very strange
And gentle boy..."

The wind simply picked him up and took him away from me like it takes the precious leaves from the trees. Set adrift in a boat without a paddle. Will he go downstream? Will he be left in the calm center of a hidden lake? Where has he gotten to...

We're playing hide-and-seek. He's hiding, but not so that I can't find him. I see him behind an oak tree. I run to him, but he runs away. Following...following to another tree. Closer to the lake. Ring around the oak tree. Comes up from behind and catches me around the waist. Into the lake, rolling in the mud. Such pleasure...sucked away into the quicksand of life.

I'm left to carry on. Empty. deserted. Alone. Why did you leave me? Why?


Why...

"There was a boy...
A very...strange...
And gentle boy..."

Coming to a New Sense of Understanding

One of the most fun things to do is to go to the mall and try on prom dresses. I never actually got to do that in high school, but I got to yesterday as a college student. I know, ridiculous, huh? But it's the simple things like that that keep us going. Hanging out with friends, being silly, trying on prom dresses, and taking pictures in the dressing room. These are the memories we'll hang on to and come back to when we are older. These are the sunflowers of our existence. Sweet treasures...precious gems of life.

I've come to realize that college isn't all about studying. I spend so much time on that, but life is about experiences. Life doesn't wait for those slow on the pick-up. I love these expeditions that remind me to loosen up a little bit and to have fun. The stress relief of just geting away for a while and being with people you love is remarkable.

My More Creative Side (as Opposed to the Science Nerd that Lives on the Surface)

I know that I posted something 15 minutes ago, but I haven't put any of my creative writing in here yet. So, here it goes...

Unknown Soldier
You were the sort that men forget.
You, in your uniform,
Similar to all around.
Yet you were different.
When all are gone,
I will remember you.
You, my invisible hero,
The one person
Who could make me more
Than I ever imagined.
You, my inspiration,
Who gives me the courage
To lift my pen,
And write again.

I just thought that I'd start posting some of my own works. That was written back before Christmas, so I'll try to work on some more poems and short writings.

Ramblings of a Tired Mind

"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent."
"Do what you feel in your heart to be right - for you'l be criticized anyway. You'll be damned if you do, and damned if you don't."

- Eleanor Roosevelt

I love both of these quotes. They speak of strength of character and being true to yourself. One of things I've learned many times is that you have to be true to yourself before others. When the people around you see that you love what you're doing, then they'll respect you.

Today, and this week, have been kind of stressful. Next week will be worse. And I came to the conclusion that I must not have been in my right mind when I signed-up for the UNC Dance Marathon. I can't stay awake, much less standing, for 24 hours straight. Actually, it's more like you wouldn't want me to because I can get grumpy, and I can only be in a large group of people for a certain amount of time before spontaneous combustion is inevitable. At any rate, I'll try my hardest to survive the ordeal, and I'll know better than to sign-up next year.

I had to go for a walk today. It was one of those days. I went over to the paths that wind about in the woods across the street from Cobb, and let me tell you, nature is the best for relieving stress. I did listen to my iPod which means that I missed out on the best part of nature, the sounds, but I needed my music to take me away from the real world for a while. Now that I feel slightly less stressed, I think that math this weekend might be conquerable...

The Answer

Although most of these words are not my own, they are calming and bring light to what I consider my short-comings and lack of productivity.

Edward Hays is a priest, trained by Benedictine Monks, and a self-titled folk artist and writer. One of the books he has written is a collection of parables called The Ethiopian Tattoo Shop . In the parable of "The Fig Tree" there is a discourse between a gardener and a young fig tree. The young tree does not feel that being a fig tree would be very special or exciting, so the young tree has been trying its whole life to be something other than a fig tree. As you may guess, the tree has failed over and over again.The gardener goes on to explain to the tree the difference between a job and a vocation. The gardener even gives the following quote from E. E. Cummings to the tree to think about:

To be nobody but yourself in a world which is doing its best, day and night, to make you everybody else, means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight, and never stop fighting.

The story ends with the little fig tree saying in a loud and confident voice of self-resolution, "I think I'll be a fig tree."What a wonderful gift parables are. Parables can take questions as complicated as "What is my purpose in life?" and shed a bit of light on them. I invite you to spend some time now, or later today, or this week, and think about what type of tree you might be. We laugh at the proposition of a fig tree trying to grow apples, but yet we find it somewhat shocking or embarrassing when we cannot always produce the fruit that we might desire to produce. Take some time and think about how uniquely you have been made an! d what a gift it might be to the world to be blessed with you exactly as you are with no masks, walls, or excuses.

Psalm 139: 13-18
For it was you who formed my inward parts;
you knit me together in my mother's womb.
I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made.
Wonderful are your works;
that I know very well.
My frame was not hidden from you,
when I was being made in secret,
intricately woven in the depths of the earth.
Your eyes beheld my unformed substance.
In your book were written
all the days that were formed for me,
when none of them as yet existed.
How weighty to me are your thoughts, O God!
How vast is the sum of them!
I try to count them-they are more than the sand;
I come to the end-I am still with you.

Extremely powerful words that remind me that the best I can ever be is me, and that as long as I'm true to myself and God nothing can stop me. No one and no thing should ever make me feel like I have to be someone else to be great.

Simple Question

I didn't expect to be posting anything this late, but I have something that has been bugging me all day. A simple question...

So I've been reading the blog of another Tarheel. Someone I don't know personally, though I have learned quite a bit through his blog. My one question is: How can someone I don't even know make me feel like my life is so insubstantial and unproductive?

A question that may leave me brooding all night...

A New Beginning of a Story in Progress

I'm not quite sure where to begin, or what is going to happen with this. Writing has always been a form of therapy for me. Through writing, I'm able to get out my thoughts, whether coherent or not. To tell you the truth, I haven't written for myself in almost a year and a half. Does that make me a little rusty? I don't know.

I have been lacking in inspiration. I used to write poetry and free-writing almost everyday from 6th grade on. Maybe stress has silenced my pen. But then, it only takes one person to get the creative juices flowing again. I think that I had forgotten how much I love to just write. So many of my poems and stories seem to ramble, like a river that takes its time to reach the grand ocean. Eventually, all water reaches the ocean, and eventually all of my works end.

Some of what I write will be diary-esque. I might even be creative enough to write a poem or short story. I don't know. Time seems so precious right now with so much of it going into studying math and science. I feel like all I'm ever doing now is studying math and science. It's what I get for majoring in science, but I love biology. I've always been enamored by how the body works, the simple beauty of atoms and molecules, and the elegance of physics. But I digress...