Days 175-178: Bedside Manner

Tuesday through Thursday at hospice were busy but fruitful.  One of the admissions I did was of a patient I did a consult on while moonlighting on the palliative care service at one of the local hospitals.  I had a family meeting with the patient and about 15 family members.  At the end of it, I was convinced there was no way she would end up going with hospice.  And then two days later, she enrolled in hospice.  And six months later, she ended up in the hospice facility due to severe shortness of breath.  I was very thankful to be able to help with her comfort this time around, more so than the last time I saw her.  It was really sad, though, to find out how much she had been struggling at home prior to admission.  I can understand how hard it is for a family to lose their loved one, but I would never purposefully put someone I love through suffering for my benefit.

At the end of the day Thursday, I went to check on all my patients before leaving since I won't be back until the end of February.  I was talking with one of my patient's family member's who was struggling with the need to go back and finish up work at home instead of staying with the patient.  We talked about this guilt, and how everyone understands that life doesn't stop simply because a loved one was admitted to hospice.  That the best anyone can do is make sure their loved one knows that they are loved and appreciated.  At the end of the conversation, the loved one looked at me and said, "you know, you should teach bedside manner.  I have had a lot of encounters with many doctors through all my other family, and you blow all of them out of the water with your bedside manner.  I wanted to make sure you know that."  It always gets me when something I do as almost a reflex has such an impact for the people under my care.  I am thankful for the continued education in communication, but I'm also glad that the love I have for my job shows through.  Even though I live constantly stressed about most everything, at this point, I can still show my compassion in the moments where I can focus my energy on the people in front of me.  That is so vitally important.  And while it is nice to be recognized on it, I would rather know that my patient and their family are able to find some peace than take time from themselves to compliment me.