There has been so much to happen since my last post. Thursday was a rough day at work. It started with the death of one of my patients whose family was not completely ready for his death. I felt for his family. They fall in the category of patients that I truly feel were "my patients". One of the difficulties of being a fellow is the fact that there are situations where, with being in training, patients don't see me as their doctor but as "the doctor working with my doctor". This family saw me as "their doctor". Not to the extent of the beautiful family I cared for in October, but still more so than some of the other patients I've cared for in the last couple of weeks. This means that they lost a loved one four days before Christmas. Then, another patient passed away a couple hours later that one of the medical students was supposed to pre-round on. This was followed by the patient I thought I'd be getting home for Christmas being found unresponsive and actively dying. Finally, I was confronted by the wife of my patient that we'd been planning on getting home all week who said she refused to take him home because she couldn't care for him. This left me having to let the patient know what was going on because from a medical standpoint, he was stable for discharge. It was an emotionally draining day.
I am thankful I was able to take off Friday to binge watch cheesy Hallmark Christmas movies. It was relaxing and gave me the chance to decompress after the tragedy that was Thursday. The Hallmark movies have become something of a game, trying to figure out what the major plot was going to be since the majority are the same: two single, attractive people meet after some unrealistic event that brings them together a week before Christmas. There is some flirting, they do traditional Christmas things together, they fall in love. Then one or the other thinks that the other person has lied to them OR one or the other is called away by work OR one or the other already had plans to leave and isn't willing to give it up and stay. So they separate only to realize that they were happier together and at the last minute come back together to find they both feel the same way. And they live happily ever after. I have probably watched about 10-12 of them since Thursday night. It's been wonderfully mindless and silly and really a good way to get away from some of the difficult situations of work. A nice little four day escape.
Saturday, LOML and I went to have Christmas lunner (dinch?) with my parents, grandparents, sister, cousin, and aunt/uncle on my mom's side. It was really nice to get to spend time with them, laughing and being silly. We'll get to see parents, sister, her husband, and my brother and his girlfriend again this coming weekend. We spent Sunday with LOML and his family on Sunday. It was a little chaotic. Everyone opens their presents at the same time which is very different from how my family has always done things. We usually each open a present so we can see what each person has received. We talk, we eat, we take all day to open presents and enjoy each other's company. That's what I always loved about my memories of Christmas, was getting to spread everything out over the entire day. It's blissful.
LOML and I did that today. LOML had to go to work for a couple hours, so I woke up, fed the animals, ate some English muffin bread with peach marmalade (homemade courtesy of my daddy). LOML got home around 9:30. We opened a few presents, put them away, ate some breakfast, opened some more presents, FaceTimed my parents to thank them for a beautiful ceramic bowl for LOML to use when he makes bread. Then we FaceTimed my sister and her husband to open the rest of their presents to us (one of their major presents was an amazing, homemade, pine cone wreath. It is stunning, and will likely be an indoor wreath because I don't want the elements to mess up its beauty). They also got us super awesome Christmas socks and handmade soaps in amazing scents (bergamot, lavender-honey, coffee-vanilla, tea tree-charcoal, and rosemary). It really was a very special day. I got LOML some of my favorite board games from when I was younger, so we spent part of the afternoon playing games. It was so much fun. I enjoyed the quality time we had together after a busy month when him working every weekend since Thanksgiving.
The thought of having to go back to work tomorrow is difficult, but I'm glad to have another four-day weekend coming up.
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