Days 105-111: Missing Week

I can' believe we are in the last full week of October.  This month has flown by!  Last week was particularly rough.  The husband of one of my patient's unexpectedly died last week.  He came faithfully every day for the first week, and then stopped showing up early last week.  We finally asked police to go for a safety check to his house, and they found that he had passed away.  It is tragic and heart-breaking.  I enjoyed getting to sit and talk with him each day.  It gave me insight into his wife who has dementia.  He cared so deeply for her and loved her more than he was able to express.  It showed, though.  Boy did it show.  He was faithful and steadfast, and she's noticed that he isn't coming by anymore.  I'm sad that I don't get to talk with him anymore, too.  I know his family is grieving.

I had a patient come back to the hospital after being discharged.  In any other case, I might have felt responsible, but the current situation is not one that lends itself to being able to prevent rehospitalizations.  The patient has dementia and a broken hip and thinks she can still walk.  Naturally, she is going to fall.  I did what I could to try to prevent it, but it still is going to happen regardless of what we do.  The daughters realize it, but are frustrated with a system that is not designed to be supportive of the aging population.  It's unfortunate, and I wish we had more options.

Today, I had to have an in-depth conversation with a patient's family member over the phone.  Her stress was palpable, but I showed her respect for what she had done.  Through that, I was able to support her through some tough decisions, and ultimately help her better care for her loved one.  I don't think I ever imagined having some of these conversations over the phone like this.  I still have a lot of room to grow.  I feel like it's a huge compliment if the patient's daughter was able to sense through the phone how deeply I care about my patients and how much I love my career.  Despite being tired most of the time, it seems like I'm still able to show more empathy than I realize.  That's a really good thing.

I'm looking forward to finding a time when I can take a deep breath again.  Until then, I'll keep trucking along.