I am always overly critical of myself. I had my quarterly review this past week, and I'm apparently right on track. I have some areas to work on for chart reviews for clinic, and improvements in advancing my communication. However, I feel like I am so far behind the curve ball. I feel like I am incompetent. I feel like there is no way I will be a good faculty member or assistant program director. I feel like I have fooled people into thinking I can meet expectations. I seriously have an issue with believing in myself. It makes it really hard to see myself excelling in any role, even when others can. I still try my hardest to be the best I can, but I set my goals for myself way higher than is sometimes attainable. I haven't figured out how to get rid of my perfectionist ways and be content with where I am in the now. I need to work on some of the self-care activities I'm supposed to be doing (ie. the mindfulness and yoga I'm supposed to have done last month and this month, respectively). I have a million ideas for some of the things I could do for the narrative medicine/wellness curriculum as faculty. I have to get myself to believe that I can actually do these things I have ideas to do. I am thankful to have a support team behind me. I need to believe the things they say about me.
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