I occasionally spend a weekend here and there working with the palliative care group at the other local hospital in the area. During geriatrics fellowship, it was a nice way to spend more time in the field I love. I spent what may become my last weekend of moonlighting this past weekend. While I will get to spend more time with the team during the month of April, it is, in some ways, different being autonomous versus being a learner. At any rate, this weekend wasn't too bad other than a rather bizarre encounter. I usually try to use my communication education when running family meetings. I still have a lot of room for improvement, but feel like overall I do a decent job. This past weekend, I had a situation where I felt like my empathy actually made the situation worse rather than better. I can't say I've had that happen before. Every time I used an empathetic statement, it made the patient and family more irate. It finally came down to me be blunt and borderline rude to be told I was making more sense. I was told I was clearly several steps behind everyone else there. I was told I was talking down to them. I was told I was trying to hide something. It was almost to the point that I wish I had another provider in the room to make sure I wasn't being any of those things. The only consolation were the few family members who understood that what I was saying was what everyone else in the room was also saying. I can't say that I've had an experience like that before. Had my initial encounters been during the week, I would have had the supportive care nurse or palliative counselor with me to help make sure I was communicating as best I could. I realized several times I became defensive, and I probably should have taken a breath and calmed down before continuing. I supposed now I will hopefully know better when something similar happens in the future. Until then, I keep reminding myself that I used the communication tools I was taught and conveyed the information to the best of my ability.
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