I feel like an impostor most days. I don't think I'm good enough for what I do. Sometimes, though, I also feel like others are being nice to me out of obligation. I think this is an even deeper set belief. Ever since I was a kid, I never really felt like I belonged. I was always the "weird kid". I was nerdy but also had ADHD so sitting still wasn't something I was good at. I had buck teeth, and got glasses in 4th grade. I felt like an ugly duckling. I didn't really have many good friends when I was younger, so I tended to hang out with my parents and younger siblings. When we moved after my 9th grade year, this became even more prominent especially since I went to high school 45 minutes away. There are very few people I feel like I truly connect with. I'm incredibly insecure and over-analyze everything I say or do. I feel like I either say too much, say the wrong things, do the wrong things, offend people and they're too nice to correct me, etc. The list could continue endlessly. I feel like I try so hard, and then end up 10 steps backward from where I started rather than anywhere near my goal. I can't shake the feeling.
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