Wellness is a constantly moving target. Sometimes, I think I'm doing great, and then I falter; work ebbs into life, I stop taking time for the things that are important to my mental health, and I fall into a rut. I don't think I'm alone in this constant waxing and waning of self-care and wellness. I am so goal driven, though, that when I start to lose footing, I begin to become self-critical. I see myself as a failure for not being able to maintain a proper balance. I forget the words of my medical school mentor. She said that there is no such thing as work life balance; it's about what needs more focus in the current moment. Sometimes, you have to focus more on work, and that's okay. There will come a time when the focus can shift to life again. And so the cycle goes, like an ever swinging pendulum that never gets stuck one way or the other. The focus is less on which way the pendulum is swinging but knowing that there is only a fraction of a second that it hangs purely on one side or the other, that there's always a little life when it's swung toward work or always a little work when it's swung toward life. It's never fixated at one extreme or the other. So I continue to think of ways I can leave a little time for life right now, and know that soon, I will have less work to take up my time.
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