I would never for a minute give up my chosen career, but I have reached a profound level of exhaustion that stems from the constant emotional and mental pull of working in hospice. It consists of many conversations with family and friends of people who are dying. It comes from caring for the dying and working diligently to prevent suffering. It stems from constantly working to show empathy, acknowledge emotions, compassionately share information that the family or friends want. It is by no means easy. For me, there is the added pressure of being in a fellowship with high demands of outside reading and personal development. It is the fact that even going home does not afford me the decompression time needed from a emotionally, physically, and psychologically stressful job. I am thankful that LOML is so understanding and willing to deal with the exhaustion. He makes me dinner every night and helps with the animals. He listens to my day, even if he can't completely relate. He is more than accepting of me as I am, for emotional better, worse, or downright punch-drunk (which happens when I am beyond exhausted). I am thankful to have his steadfastness, even when I do a poor job of showing it. I am glad he forces me to have some level of life outside of work, even when the scale tips precipitously toward work.
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