Today I had the chance to sit down and talk through some of the pros and cons of the job search, of looking for employment outside the confines of where I've been training for the last nine years. It's so tough. I feel like I'm letting people down by not staying as I'd been saying all along I would. Part of me is still so worried about everyone else. The other part realizes that I have not really seen what medicine outside of one health system looks like. There are learning opportunities everywhere I go. I am excited and nervous for what the future holds. Each new experience gives me insight into my interests, my career goals. I have come to realize that, while clinic might one day be part of my future, I want to explore inpatient care both through palliative care and hospice. While my skills as a geriatrician may weaken with this goal, it means I will have to work harder to keep using them. I do not see myself defining my career by my research undertakings. I never imagined having to base my salary on grants or promotions on publications. I want to be an educator, but am hard pressed to see myself having take a pay cut to fulfill this part of me. My 5-year plan involves buying a house, potentially a new car, and having children, all of which require some level of financial certainty. In the following five years, I may want greater time flexibility. The focus is either financial or time, one gives for the other; it's a matter of what is of greatest importance at any given time. Who knows what is in store for me in the coming months of the career search. For now, the focus is on creating a cover letter, finding professional references and finding out what's out there.
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