This is how I feel right now. I feel like I can't keep up with all I need to do. Fortunately, I think if I just start doing what I need to do, and doing the best I can, I will succeed. I just need to get into the right mental space. I'm at the point where I am second guessing my every move. This happened during geriatrics fellowship, too. I think it's more pronounced this year because it is the last year of training before I'm set free on the world. That is the most exciting and most terrifying thought there is right now. Part of me realizes that there will still be oversight and people to talk to about difficult situations, but there is still a level of gravity to the knowledge that it won't be the continued direct supervision. I feel like I will never know enough. Blessing and curse. Blessing in that a small level of discomfort will keep pushing me to provide the best I can for the people I'm caring for. Curse is that I will be in a position to potentially never overcome the constant self-doubt. I need to find a happy medium between constantly tearing myself down and pushing myself to do the best I can. Until then, I will just keep at it.
No comments:
Post a Comment