I have not written a post in over a week. I haven't had the energy or desire to write. I suppose the winter finally dragged me down. I found my way out, although I still have my moments in the darkness. Since my existential crisis, I have had a few more. I try to open up to the people I work with, but right now, it is strange feeling like I am in a sort of limbo. I know I'm not an equal, but the possibility of becoming one seems closer each day. I need to maintain my focus on being a learner for another six months. I still have so much room. But I also need to ease up on myself. Any and all suggestions for improvement at this point are designed to help me become great. I am already good. I have many blessings. I don't have to worry about whether I'm good. I can also decide when and how I will implement the suggestions. I don't have to do it all at once. I am still going to put my focus on regular self-care, acknowledging how I've taken care of myself each day, and slowly building in the new suggestions. I also need to keep improving on what I am already good at. Even if something comes naturally, I need to keep improving. Slowly. I have a lifetime to keep working on the practice of medicine. I need to pace myself, otherwise, I'm going to burn out before I even begin.
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