AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH...
That feels better. And you know what? I have absolutely no reason to be upset over a guy who I obviously meant nothing to, and frankly he means nothing to me. See, I thought this guy meant something to me. I thought he really liked my company, and it seemed that he did...for a while. But I'm sure I got too boring for him or something dreadful like that. It went from a 50-50 split on calling to a 85-15 split me calling him to him calling me. I should have known then that it was soon to be over, but I didn't want to see the bright flashing neon sign in my face.
Well, the sign finally fell on me this morning at exactly 9:22 AM. See, last week this guy and I kind of, sort of hinted at a...dinner or something together, and I had the poor judgement to get my hopes up. So yesterday, he and I planned on doing lunch together today (Wed.). He would come by my house and pick me up at noon, and we'd go somewhere to eat. Well, this morning, I'm awaken by my phone vibrating, and having the sick premonition that it was this guy calling off our lunch. But I still wanted to be hopeful being the optomist that I am.
me: hello
him: hey...we need to talk (oh God, not those 4 words that anyone who's anyone dreads to hear)
me: what's up?
him: Well, last night I was with one of my friends and one of his friends. And we stayed out late, and sort of hit it off (as in him and this mysterious, obviously female, friend of a friend)
me: ok...
him; I just wouldn't think it would be fair to you if we went to lunch today, so I think we shouldn't go...
me: ok...that's fine (what the Hell was I thinking? it's too early in the morning to tell...)
him: well...bye
me: bye
him:...click
So am I at fault? Was I too forward to have gone down yesterday and made plans for the lunch that never happened? Should I have stopped calling him when he stopped calling me? I just feel like I'm the one at fault. I always get told that I'm being too forward. That I'm scaring the guys away. That I need to let them make the move...The thing is, I've always been independent. I've always been the type to persue something I want. If I weren't that way, I wouldn't be doing what I am doing today. I guess I'm supposed to get the hint that I'm not ready for a boyfriend? I don't know...I feel like I could handle one. Granted, with the classes I'm taking right now, something (whether it's the classes or the relationship) would end up suffering. I just wish that I could end up keeping some guys as just friends, too. I just feel like everytime I meet guys, I alwasy end up losing them, even as friends. That at the end of the...whatever...they hate me, and I'm left to fend for myself. Is it a maturity issue? Is it me? I just don't understand how I can go through guys like runners go through track shoes. I just wish someone would tell me what I'm doing wrong so I can fix it. I don't want to keep going on this way...It hurts too much.
That feels better. And you know what? I have absolutely no reason to be upset over a guy who I obviously meant nothing to, and frankly he means nothing to me. See, I thought this guy meant something to me. I thought he really liked my company, and it seemed that he did...for a while. But I'm sure I got too boring for him or something dreadful like that. It went from a 50-50 split on calling to a 85-15 split me calling him to him calling me. I should have known then that it was soon to be over, but I didn't want to see the bright flashing neon sign in my face.
Well, the sign finally fell on me this morning at exactly 9:22 AM. See, last week this guy and I kind of, sort of hinted at a...dinner or something together, and I had the poor judgement to get my hopes up. So yesterday, he and I planned on doing lunch together today (Wed.). He would come by my house and pick me up at noon, and we'd go somewhere to eat. Well, this morning, I'm awaken by my phone vibrating, and having the sick premonition that it was this guy calling off our lunch. But I still wanted to be hopeful being the optomist that I am.
me: hello
him: hey...we need to talk (oh God, not those 4 words that anyone who's anyone dreads to hear)
me: what's up?
him: Well, last night I was with one of my friends and one of his friends. And we stayed out late, and sort of hit it off (as in him and this mysterious, obviously female, friend of a friend)
me: ok...
him; I just wouldn't think it would be fair to you if we went to lunch today, so I think we shouldn't go...
me: ok...that's fine (what the Hell was I thinking? it's too early in the morning to tell...)
him: well...bye
me: bye
him:...click
So am I at fault? Was I too forward to have gone down yesterday and made plans for the lunch that never happened? Should I have stopped calling him when he stopped calling me? I just feel like I'm the one at fault. I always get told that I'm being too forward. That I'm scaring the guys away. That I need to let them make the move...The thing is, I've always been independent. I've always been the type to persue something I want. If I weren't that way, I wouldn't be doing what I am doing today. I guess I'm supposed to get the hint that I'm not ready for a boyfriend? I don't know...I feel like I could handle one. Granted, with the classes I'm taking right now, something (whether it's the classes or the relationship) would end up suffering. I just wish that I could end up keeping some guys as just friends, too. I just feel like everytime I meet guys, I alwasy end up losing them, even as friends. That at the end of the...whatever...they hate me, and I'm left to fend for myself. Is it a maturity issue? Is it me? I just don't understand how I can go through guys like runners go through track shoes. I just wish someone would tell me what I'm doing wrong so I can fix it. I don't want to keep going on this way...It hurts too much.
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