Days 220-229: Planning

I really have done a horrible job of blogging each day.  During the past week, we have worked on wedding planning to the point where I'm not having regular nightmares about the day of.  The first nightmare involved me running around the venue doing all the last minute planning.  I'm in my wedding gown, and freaking out about LOML seeing me in my wedding dress.  I even have my sister and brother working to try to keep me from being seen.  I have no idea what I thought I needed to do the day of my wedding.  I woke up panicked that LOML saw me in my dress.

Two nights ago, I dreamed that the hair and make-up crew showed up late, we had to set-up in this huge covered porch with large sheets so that no one could see us.  Then, right before I was supposed to start my hair and make-up, we realized the photographer wasn't there.  He was at the door, really upset that he couldn't make it because his daughter had a play he'd forgotten about when he said he was available for our wedding.  He said a back-up was on the way but couldn't guarantee when the replacement would arrive.

These dreams are strange, and I figure they will continue to worsen over the next 10 weeks.  I can't believe it's 10 weeks away.  We have the invitations done for the wedding.  The rehearsal dinner invitations are ordered.  My mom has finished the numbers for the tables.  I have completed the ceremony script.  We still have to complete the forms for the ceremony and reception music, but have at least talked through them.  I have babysitters lined up, but need to get them the information about the number and ages of the children.  We have our food tasting on March 12, and have picked out the food we want to try; we need to figure out the pricing based on the number of children, etc.  I don't even know what else we need to work on.  I think the photographer and day-of coordinator both have forms for us to complete at some point.

I feel like I live and breathe wedding planning and am not doing a great job at it right now.  I can't seem to shake the feeling that I am inadequate at this.  I feel like I am not keeping up even though I'm relatively ahead of schedule.  I am not maintaining the family relations I need the way I need to with fellowship, the cats, and wedding planning.  I feel like I'm failing on all fronts most of the time.  Even if I'm not, I feel like I am, and when everything calms down, I'm going to realize that I don't really have anything left.