I am so blessed to have the support team that I have and keep expanding. I am a firm believer that if you are humble, if you are willing to be vulnerable, if you are willing to let others help you, you will overcome any difficulties. This isn't asking those people to take the burden of the challenge and carry it for you. That is not their cross to bear. Instead, these are the people that will help you with her comfort in facing the challenge and provide the strength to continue through it. It's not about pushing the work off on others, but finding ways to support each other in life. Life is not easy. It is not supposed to be easy. If it's easy, you're not fully living. I didn't adopt all my little creatures thinking their care would be easy. I have LOML to help me. He is willing to hold me when I feel like I've failed at caring for the animals. He helps in getting them medicine and dealing with the crazy diets. He is supportive despite the fact that he sort of fell into their care.
Yesterday, I got to talk with the team that cares for children with chronic diseases or genetic diseases. I talked about the hardship of feeling like I was a terrible parent, and how we sometimes look at the parents of these sick children the same way. About how they could allow their children to get into certain situations or that these children appear to be suffering. We can say the same of the children of the adults we take care of on the other end of the age spectrum. It was refreshing to talk with people who didn't look at my like I had lost my mind for the things I try to do for my animals. It helped having someone in the room who had a cat with diabetes and understood the hardship of caring for an animal with a chronic disease that requires constant monitoring and management.
It's also been really helpful having my mom. She used to work in pediatrics, and her describing Julia as a baby with asthma was helpful. She would see so many babies in the ED on bad weather days because their asthma would flare. There was nothing the parents did that caused the exacerbation, and there wasn't a lot that they could have done to prevent it from occurring. She was so reassuring and supportive. It was so nice having her and LOML saying that I was doing a great job with caring for Julia. Even when I took Julia back to the vet yesterday, hearing the vet say that I had done the right things in the situation we were in helped reassure that I knew how to take care of my sweet girl.
I think that's the hard part. If it's obvious the medical team trusts the family's judgement, that bridge of mutual respect and team building is there. Each can support the other in coming up with a plan that is beneficial and manageable. If it's obvious the medical team feels the family can't manage the care, then the family goes on the defensive. They feel belittled and demeaned. They lose their trust in the medical team because they feel like it's an us v. them situation when it shouldn't be. We all have the same goal. We all want the sick patient to get well. At the end of the day, we want to do the best we can on that team in caring for the loved one.
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