Remembrance
Your hands easy
weight, teasing the bees
hived in my hair, your smile at the
slope of my cheek. On the
occasion, you press
above me, glowing, spouting
readiness, mystery rapes
my reason
When you have withdrawn
your self and the magic, when
only the smell of your
love lingers between
my breasts, then, only
then, can I greedily consume
your presence.
This was the first
poem I read by Maya Angelou in 7th grade for my poetry project. At the time I was naïve enough to have missed
the meaning of the poem entirely, and was entranced by the simplicity of the
language and the beauty of the imagery.
Once my English teacher enlightened me of the deeper meaning beyond a
woman being overwhelmed with love (the emotion not the act) of a man, I began
my journey into the world of poetry and writing as a way to work through the events
of life that seemed to stop me in my tracks.
Both positive and negative moments were dissected for understanding
through writing. I kept journals; I
blogged; I went to as many writing classes as I could over the years. Through this poem, I became entrenched in
writing as both a form of release as well as a way to reach greater clarity of
the world I worked and lived in. Maya
Angelou was and remains my ultimate inspiration as a writer.
I had the honor of
sitting not six feet from Maya Angelou and hear her speak to my second year
medical school class. To say the
experience was overwhelming, awe-inspiring, one to scratch off the bucket list
would all be understatement. It was one
of those times when meeting an idol, time seems to move slower and faster at
the same time. It was the spark I needed
to begin writing again. Unfortunately,
step 1 and third year thwarted my efforts.
I did carry her words with me, the task of remaining a rainbow in the
clouds to provide hope to those who felt all was lost, the wayward ship turned
around in the open ocean. Those words
rung more and more true the longer I was in the clinical setting, finding that I
felt most impassioned to care for the sickest and the dying.
Time stopped for a
split second the day I found out Dr. Angelou had passed away. She was such a formidable character, a
stronghold in my life, she seemed immortal.
How could she join the ranks of so many people I had seen and helped
pass on over this year? It was incomprehensible. And yet time clicks on, and just like my
Grammy Lou, her final words to me have become a beacon of light in the darkness
intern year can be at times. And just
like my Grammy Lou, I only hope I can do their charges to me honor and
justice. I only hope I can embody the
high regard they hold for me, the heady task they set forth. One a goal of being happy all the rest of my
days, the other a challenge to remain the beacon of light in others’ lives, a
steadfast reminder to those I care for that I will stand by through the toils
and be a guide to higher grounds in whatever capacity that may be. I only pray I can be the woman that let’s
these other phenomenal women live on after death.
